It was broken -- shattered -- smashed into pieces! The relationship between God and the people was damaged beyond repair! Time and again they had griped and complained, but this time things had gone too far. They had turned their back on the covenant which bound them to God. An idol! They had made an idol and worshipped it! God was fit to be tied. Only through the arguing and pleading of Moses was God persuaded not to just wipe them out on the spot. But even Moses recognized the magnitude of the situation. He took the stone tablets upon which God had written the Ten Commandments, and he threw them to the ground where they shattered. The glorious promise of a people set apart in a holy relationship with God had come to a sad and dismal end. Even after Moses convinced God to step back from the threat of total destruction, it was clear that things would never be the same again. God says to Moses, “I will send an angel before you...Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; but I will not go up among you, or I would consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.” (Exodus 33:2&3) The promise of a new home would be fulfilled, but they had reached the end of the road. God would no longer be a part of their lives. It was over!

Except that it wasn’t. Moses wasn’t ready to call it quits just yet. “If your presence will not go, then do not carry us up from here!” (Exodus 33:15) He got right in God’s face and said, “Your absence is not an acceptable option! It is your presence in the very midst of us which shapes us and molds us and makes us who we are! If you aren’t going with us, then we might as well just stay here and die!” And lo and behold, God relented. “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14) But even then Moses wasn’t ready to let go. He pressed his case. He wanted even more from God. “Show me your glory! Let me see more of you than I have ever seen before. Reveal yourself to me -- fully and completely. I want it all!” And lo and behold, God gave him what he wanted -- or at least as much of God as Moses could take in. It seems that even when God is most palpably present it is simply not possible to adequately describe or fully comprehend the mystery of that presence. But even within that limitation, Moses’ tenacity bore fruit beyond his wildest dreams. God’s presence with the people was maintained. The covenant relationship between God and the people was restored. The very nature of God was revealed more deeply and intimately than ever before. And all because Moses dared to grapple with God.

Such talk makes us uncomfortable. To a large extent it does not match the image of God with which we have grown up. Arguing with God is simply off limits. The power and the beauty of the Old Testament is that it challenges such assumptions. Over and over again we find examples of people arguing with God, wrestling with God, yelling at God, complaining to God, grappling with God. The only thing off limits is to cut off communications with God. Everything else is fair game. Anything less would be dishonest. Because the truth is, faith can be hard work -- just like any other relationship. There are times when God seems very far away. There are times when it seems as if God is so angry that we will not survive. There are times when our relationship with God is strained beyond the breaking point. And in such times, polite, sweet, pleasant-sounding talk just won’t do. It won’t do because such talk does not reflect what is happening within our souls. What is called for is honesty. What is called for is grappling with God. “God, where are you!?! Where are you in these days when everything around us is in such turmoil? Where are you as violence threatens to overwhelm us in a drowning flood of sniper shootings, wars and threats of war? Where are you when people’s lives are turned upside down by disease, or by grief, or by the sheer weight of loneliness? Where are you? Your absence is simply not an acceptable option! Reveal yourself to us here and now in ways we can recognize and ways which will transform our world!” Sometimes it is only as we grapple with God that we begin to discover new ways of experiencing God’s presence, new ways of understanding God’s purpose, new ways of responding to God’s call in our lives. Are we changing God’s mind, or changing our own understanding of who God is? Perhaps it doesn’t really matter. Perhaps what matters is maintaining the relationship with God, whatever the cost. Perhaps what matters is clinging so tightly to God that we will not let go. Perhaps only then will we begin to recognize that God has already been clinging so tightly to us that we will always be connected -- even when it seems that there is nothing left of the relationship between us except broken, shattered pieces. When was the last time you dared to grapple with God? When will you dare to do it again?